single mom

A funny thing happened the other day. I FINALLY booked a massage after being long overdue. I hadn’t seen my masseuse in a long time so naturally, she asked me how things were going. Well, honestly, I said, it’s pretty terrible. Oh yeah, she said, people say motherhood is hard. I said yes, people tell you it’s hard, but they don’t tell you it’s THIS hard. I said it’s isolating, lonely, monotonous, depressing, anxiety ridden and non stop. It’s 24/7 with no breaks. Ever. You’ll be more exhausted than you ever thought possible and yet you have to somehow garner the energy to do it all over again. Every day. Over and over and over and over again FORRREVVVVEEERRRRRR. After my 10 minute rant about how terrible motherhood was she quietly said sooooo… I’m pregnant.

The truth is, even if I had known she was pregnant from the beginning, it wouldn’t have changed the narrative. MOTHERHOOD IS FREAKING HARD MAN! So much harder than I ever could have imagined. Now don’t get me wrong, I love my son more than anything, but I don’t love being a mother. And honestly, that’s ok. I kind of knew motherhood wasn’t for me. I spent 37 years of my life doing whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted so to say this has been an adjustment is a huge understatement. But that’s exactly what I’m doing. I’m adjusting. Trying to take it one day at a time and not get consumed by it all.

I wanted to write this blog post not to come off ungrateful for my son or to complain about how awful motherhood is. But to normalize my feelings and the feelings of other mothers because I know I’m not alone. You can love your kids and not love everything motherhood entails. It truly is the hardest most ungrateful job ever and to all the moms that have come before me, including my own. I’M SORRY! I had no idea…

Thank-you to Andrea Ormiston for capturing these beautiful photos! Check out her Instagram —> Andrea Ormiston

20 thoughts on “The truth about motherhood…”

  1. ❤️❤️❤️❤️ I love you and you are doing an amazing job adjusting. It isn’t easy, but I’m so glad we have each other ❤️

    1. My 2 children are now adult children 28 yrs and 26 yrs and I’m happy to say “We all survived” I became a single mother when my children were 2 yrs and 4 yrs plus I was a young Pediatric Nurse trying to make a good living for them. Your right it was HARD!!! I love the idea of your blog. Back then there wasn’t home internet or alot of home computer, I would have so loved being apart of an online blog about Mother’s and we we go through. The good, bad and the ugly I would do all over again but I would want to know then what I know now for sure and that is not to worry so much about tomorrow because tomorrow will take care of it’s self and to enjoy each day to it’s fullest! God Bless, your doing an awesome job 😊❤

  2. Oooooh the realness! I appreciate your honesty in this. It has so so much to do with why I’ve never wanted to have children, but I know some people who just thrive in motherhood. It’s nice to hear this perspective.

  3. I love your honesty in this, I felt the exact same way with my first child, and I beat myself up for it so bad. How could I feel this way, but I did and still have moments of it. I will tell you it does get better in parts of their lives and you find the parts you really enjoy. Don’t get me wrong it is hard as ever, but you find what you love too. Thank you for sharing and being honest.

    1. Thank you so much for taking the time to comment! It makes me feel so much better that I’m not alone in my feelings!

  4. I love your honesty here! I don’t have children and I always go back and forth whether I’ll ever want them because I can imagine how hard it is!

  5. Honestly, I hate when people sugarcoat their experiences. We need more people to be honest about things like motherhood. It doesn’t mean you’re ungrateful but it is nice to hear about someone’s real experience instead of the picture perfect version we often see online or on our screens. I don’t necessarily want children myself but I still really appreciate reading other women’s stories on the topic.

  6. I don’t think motherhood is for me, so I can see where you are coming from. If I were to ever have a child I would be the best mom, or try to. I don’t think it comes naturally for everyone, but the best we can do is try!

  7. Your baby is so precious. Yes.. motherhood can be challenging, but it is so worth it. I have so many fond memories of my boys when they were young. The saying “they grow up quick” is so true. Enjoy every minute.

  8. Wowwwwww, you nailed my thoughts exactly!!!! Your blog posts and Instagram posts resonate soooooo strong with me as I had my unplanned (but not unwanted) baby boy two months ago, at 36 years old. I never wanted to have kids, but when I got pregnant I could feel his essence and knew in my heart the right thing for me was to continue the pregnancy. I love him sooooooooooo much, but danggggggggg it’s hard AF!!!!!!!! And I have no support from the father, but thankfully I have family support….I don’t know how anyone could do this absolutely alone, it’s sooooooo intense holy crapppppppooooola, I’m so thankful for family! Anyhow, thanks for your inspiring posts and can’t wait to read more 🙂

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